A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

[RiseandShine]

A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table.
He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!"
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!"
The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!"
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says.......
"Grandpa....Go home, you're drunk."

[Miguel]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

qwak qwak qwaaaaaak

[hulkhuss]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

[groffhibbitz]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A Play:

[Person1 knocks on door]
Person2: "Hello?"
Person1: "When you masturbate it's so loud everyone in the apartment building can hear you."
Person2: "Really?"
Person1: "No, but you just admitted to masturbating. Pervert!"

[KinKyJ]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Lemme get high and then read this thread again...

[rewing3]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Lemme get high and then read this thread again...

Drugs are bad Kinky. mmkay. Thanks for the jokes Rise&Shine.

[RiseandShine]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A man goes to his doctor and says, “I don’t think my wife’s hearing is as good as it used to be. What should I do?”
The doctor replies, “Try this test to find out for sure. When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question, if she doesn’t respond keep moving closer asking the question until she hears you.” The man goes home and sees his wife preparing dinner. He stands fifteen feet behind her and says, “What’s for dinner, honey?”
He gets no response, so he moves to ten feet behind her and asks again. Still no response, so he moves to five feet. Again, no answer.
Finally he stands directly behind her and says, “Honey, what’s for supper?”
She screams, “For the fourth time, I said chicken, you deaf bastard!”

[hulkhuss]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

^^^^^^^^ Lol

[GLD]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

i don't get the last one, first was good though.

[KinKyJ]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

^^^ she's not deaf, he is, but he thinks she's deaf and goes to a doc who's not deaf who wants the deaf guy to test his deaf wife wo appears not to be deaf...

Kapish?

[hulkhuss]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

^^^ she's not deaf, he is, but he thinks she's deaf and goes to a doc who's not deaf who wants the deaf guy to test his deaf wife wo appears not to be deaf...

Kapish?

Ja vole!

[GLD]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Yeah right, but it's not sooo funny. First one is quality!

[GregWhelan]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Two midgets are down on their luck, have nothing going for them etc. One day one of them says 'You know what, sod this, lets go to a whorehouse and get our ends away'. The other midget heartily agrees, so off they trot to the whorehouse.

They get there and the first midget hands over $500 and says 'I want a $250 hooker and so does my friend, we are going to get us some action'. Out come two hookers, who promptly take the midgets into adjoining rooms.

1st midget strips off, is lying over the hooker, but to his despair he cannot get it up, no matter what the hooker does for him. 'Damnit, I've wasted $250 here' he thinks to himself. To make matters worse, all he can hear coming from the next room is his midget friend shouting 'One.....two.....three.....YEAH!'. 'Damn, I can't get it up, and my mate is having the time of his life'

The next day the two friends meet up to discuss the night before. 'How did you get on?' one says to the other. 'Terrible mate. I tried and tried and tried but I could not for the life of me get it up, what a waste of $250'.

'You think that's bad mate? You couldn't get it up? I couldn't get on the bloody bed!'

[hulkhuss]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

^^^^^^^^ haha

[RiseandShine]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it's only fair, since you are blind, that you should know five
things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde with a black belt in karate.
4.The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."