Five stages of drunkenness

[neur0t0xin64]

here's the real danger about beer

http://www.poopdeck90210.com/beergoggles/commercialgoggles.htm

[dmach166]

what about
STAGE 6 - Near Death

[rewing3]

what about

Stage 6: empty head, headache, stomachache, throwing up and feeling like shit for the next (couple of) day(s).

Damn, that's the stage I definitely hate the most... :wink:

I think that is the stage every one hates the most but it so much fun before you reach that stage. So I guess you have to pay some how or another.

[picklemonkey]

Hey, at least you remebered where it went. It's much worse when you think it fell out of your wallet or something. For me losing $100 is a big hit. Had this happen on my last birthday and still don't know if I spent it or lost it

Yeah, I remembered where it went... but for those few minutes that I didn't I was flipping out. About 3 months ago I had a house party and someone stole $250 from my checkbook! I thought someone snatched my wallet at the wedding or the afterparty, but luckily it hit me before I panicked too much.

[Dhar_2]

this girl i know kissed me in the pub the same night, couldn't remember that either i wish i did remember that part, she's f'ing hot.

thats the bit i hate.

it always bloody happens

[bedrizzock]

Level 6 is all too common for me. I need
to slow down on the drinking. I find myself
doing (attempting) naked backflips at parties.
Consistently landing directly on my head, but
hey, I'm bulletproof by that point so it's not
a problem.

[Alpinevpr]

I just hate level 3... you wake up next morning with no money at all in your wallet

This one gets me everytime. I get my drinking shoes on get blasted and then wake up the next morning and ask myself "Where the fuck did that 60 bucks go"? It takes my friends to say, "Dude you drank a shit load of alcohol last night." Somehow I usually always keep my composure to NOT buy everyone else a drink.

[chato]

oh blackouts.... its amazin how friends start telling all the crap you did last night and suddenly it all starts coming back

hahaha and most of the time you wish they didnt tell you..

[IuliK]

haha.. how funny... i just realised that i go through all stages when i drink... no exception...

[rubyraks]

This thread has reminded me of this. So damn funny and true!


The Five Stages of Drinking (by Larry Miller)

LEVEL 1:
It's 11:00 on a weeknight, you've had a few beers. You get up to leave because you have work the next day and one of your friends buys another round. One of your UNEMPLOYED friends. Here at level one you think to yourself, "Oh come on, this is silly, why as long as I get seven hours of sleep (snap fingers), I'm cool."

LEVEL 2:
It's midnight. You've had a few more beers. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing against artificial turf. You get up to leave again, but at level two, a little devil appears on your shoulder. And now you're thinking, "Hey! I'm out with my friends! What am I working for anyway? These are the good times! Besides, as long as I get five hours sleep (snaps fingers) I'm cool."

LEVEL 3:
One in the morning. You've abandoned beer for tequila. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing FOR artificial turf. And now you're thinking, "Our waitress is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!" At level three, you love the world. On the way to the bathroom you buy a drink for the stranger at the end of the bar just because you like his face. You get drinking fantasies. (like,"Hey fellas, if we bought our own bar, we could live together forever. We could do it. Tommy, you could cook.") But at level three, that devil is a little bit bigger....and he's buying. And you're thinking "Oh, come on, come on now. As long as I get three hours sleep...and a complete change of blood (snaps fingers), I'm cool."

LEVEL 4:
Two in the morning. And the devil is bartending. For last call, you ordered a bottle of rum and a Coke. You ARE artificial turf! This time on your way to the bathroom, you punch the stranger at the end of the bar. Just because you don't like his face! And now you're thinking, "Our busboy is the best looking man I've ever seen." You and your friends decide to leave, right after you get thrown out, and one of you knows an ...after hours bar. And here, at level four, you actually think to yourself, "Well....as long as I'm only going to get a few hours sleep anyway, I may as well....STAY UP ALL NIGHT!!!! Yeah! That'd be good for me. I don't mind going to that board meeting looking like Keith Richards. Yeah, I'll turn that around, make it work for me. And besides, as long as I get 31 hours sleep tomorrow ....cool."

LEVEL 5:
Five in the morning. after unsuccessfully trying to get your money back at the tattoo parlor ("But I don't even know anybody named Ruby!!!"), you and your friends wind up across the state line in a bar with guys who have been in prison as recently as...that morning. It's the kind of place where even the devil is going, "Uh, I gotta turn in. I gotta be in Hell- at nine. I've got that brunch with Hitler, I can't miss that." At this point, you're all drinking some kind of thick blue liquor, like something from a Klingon wedding. A waitress with fresh stitches comes over, and you think to yourself, "Someday I'm gonna marry that girl!!" One of your friends stands up and screams, "WE'RE DRIVIN' TO FLORIDA!!!!!"- and passes out. You crawl outside for air , and then you hit the worst part of level five- the sun. You weren't expecting that were you? You never do. You walk out of a bar in daylight, and you see people on their way to work, or jogging. And they look at you-and they know. And they say..."Who's Ruby?" Let's be honest, if you're 19 and you stay up all night, it's like a victory like you've beat the night, but if you're over 30, then that sun is like God's flashlight. We all say the same prayer then, "I swear, I will never do this again (how long?) as long as I live!" And some of us have that little addition, "......and this time, I mean it!"

[konfussion]

Two in the morning. And the devil is bartending. For last call, you ordered a bottle of rum and a Coke. You ARE artificial turf!

[undrgrndwmn]

Yeah, for a while, I was kind of level 5 ... developed this really bad habbit of tweaking people's nipples while making a "mahk mahk" kind of honking noise

[hypoluxxa]

I'm a level 3.
'I love the world, and all the women on it.'

[demonAfro]

Haha, just got back from the pub, and am well into number five, so y'all can't see me. And you can't read this message. But how stupid will you all look in the morning.



i vc sazmn tyup[ew withn m,y erlbn opwsdx

[sakio pod]

i''m about level tres too, getting ready to listen to the kiss show