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In the unlikely event that you get abducted by aliens, alien abduction insurance will give you a bunch of money. If you get abducted and never return, the beneficiary of your insurance policy will receive the money. Alien abduction insurance works just like any other disaster insurance, just with aliens instead of bad weather.
Simon Burgess, the former head of London insurance company Goodfellow Rebecca Ingram Pearson (GRIP) has sold about 30,000 alien abduction insurance policies. He even sold the Heaven's Gate cult a group insurance policy for $1,000 before their mass suicide. While he briefly stopped selling the policy after the tragedy, he is back in business for those who fear little green men.
In the rare event that you get abducted .... how, exactly, is your spouse going to prove to the insurer that little green men or Predator have nabbed you ?
Will crop circles in your back garden suffice or is that a policy exclusion ?
sigpicSimonR
This release was mastered direct from vinyl at the request of the DJ and as such features natural sound characteristics of this medium such as record surface noise.
In the wake of the successful completion of the Earth phase of their Galactic Anal Survey, an undisclosed number of Alien Grays have remained behind on Earth, looking for more meaningful work.
Being inherently sneaky, nasty and evil, they can be of great help in furthering your evil schemes.*
They also promise to share their alien technology.**
And since they don't eat or sleep, they require almost no care!***
Price: Negotiable
*Unless they turn on you, the little bastards. **You know, velcro, night-vision goggles, processed cheese food, dicey antigravity engines -- the usual. ***Wipe down once a week with a soft, damp cloth. NOTE: Be sure to keep your anus well protected when dealing with alien grays.
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