The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

[KiwiTollway]

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

wise men say depression is sickness of the soul..

it's when the soul is hungry for something that its not getting...

There is definitely something to this.

The soul knows. Music helps & can communicate to the soul in a certain way, as does meditation, help from caring people like Micko, physical activity, nature, brain therapies, and the right chemical balance. Souls are simple & complicated, strong & fragile.

Hopefully won't read judging from this but..........During a dark period in my life, I took medication for depression, slept all night (8-10 hrs), woke up, got my kids to school, slept until I picked them up (8 hrs), made dinner, chatted with everyone, went back to bed, I slept 18 hrs out of 24, as if 90% of me wanted out of my life while 10% hung in there, mostly for the sake of my kids & husband. Felt like my soul was wrapped in chains. Went to the dr, they increased the meds, same result, chains. I look back now and see I lost years inside what many would consider a 'perfect life.' Never again. I feed my soul joy disregarding anyone's thoughts or opinions. Each individual has preferences for a reason & sometimes those preferences don't fit other's idea of how life should be. In one sense, I know the meds helped save me, in another they ruined me for awhile. (what is it about this place that makes you confess stuff? lol) Judge me if you want, I couldn't care less. I'm alive & happy, and grateful beyond measure for all of it!

Labeling, well I've had a few myself, still do, that's all a bunch of crap really. We're meant to be unique individuals, not neatly fitting into molds. Creative types especially.

[trick12]

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

wise men say depression is sickness of the soul..

is when the soul is hungry for something that its not getting..

so search for what hungers your soul and feed it from it

[floridaorange]

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

^ I am glad to hear a diagnosis of schizophrenia wasn't made - that label can haunt a person in terms of lost opportunities in life. First Episodes of Psychosis are treated much much better compared to before and the hope is it doesn't become a full blown enduring psychotic illness. Roughly 1 in 3 people who are diagnosed with schizophrenia make a decent recovery and can go on to live fulfilling lives. The key (as far as I'm concerned) is support and a willingness to talk about symptoms as well as compliance with medication. The medical model certainly prevails in the area of mental health but slowly, very slowly this is evolving. Another crucial point is to support people not to internalise stigmatising statements and this one reason I have so much love for psychotherapy. So many people "give up" in their willingness to embrace life when they receive a "label" such as schizophrenia - this has been coined the "why try" effect and is very powerful.

Ya, like calling kids ADD.

[floridaorange]

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

Go get an MRI! You are a good writer. But go to the dr. That's scary as hell.

[unkle]

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

Interesting read
Good example between depression and being sad.
Sometimes I'm fucking sad, but that doesnt mean
i am a depressive person. Similar but different.

[KiwiTollway]

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

@FL, the ranch was very sketchy looking to me and I really wanted to cancel our scheduled rides. That morning, as soon as I woke up, I had a whole conversation in my mind about Christopher Reeves (what the heck?) why? idk... I kept getting the advice to hold on, really hold on tight if anything happens. I don't know if I was being prepared for it or if my thoughts caused it... like I said, I'm kind of psychic, no joke. I didn't tell anyone about this, just went along. (I know better now.)

The horse and I were climbing a very steep ridge about 12 ft straight up with a sharp right turn on the top of the ridge & we were right behind our guide. I don't know what happened, really, because we'd been climbing shorter ridges all day and it was fine and really fun. We'd been loping and trotting in a field for about 1/2 hour beforehand, all really fun.

But this time, all I remember is my horse taking a few steps up the ridge & then I was taking flight off the saddle, and the words I'd heard earlier that morning in my mind "hold on as tight as you can" replayed. Then I felt what seemed like a semi ram me in the back so hard all I saw was white. Then, wham again. everything was white & felt like slow motion. I couldn't breathe and felt out of control completely. Then, wham a 3rd time. I said to myself "oh nooooo, one more time and I'm dead." and then he stopped. But I had no air to breathe, felt like every rib had been crushed honestly, and pain was radiating all through my back and shoulders, shocking pain really, and I have a very high pain threshold. Did he lose his footing and buck? Did he feel off balance and buck? Maybe he could make the right turn? I don't know. There were 4 people behind us on their horses and no one could say what happened.

I had to wait to catch my breath, then I kept asking "What went wrong?" and my instinct told me to get off that horse asap. But I didn't want to ruin the ride for anyone and we all walked to the ranch very slowly. I was sick the rest of the day, really sick.... and in shock emotionally. I think I was also dehydrated because it was a 3 hour ride in the hot sun starting at noon, so I downed 3 whole water bottles as soon as we reached the car. I'd also had a Benadryl beforehand because I'm allergic and that might have dehydrated me as well.

My husband kept telling me I needed an MRI the next day, but I didn't listen. I'm still really sore and it happened 10 days ago. My back hurts at night primarily, from hip to waist area, unless I stay perfectly still. It felt like such a close call I don't think I'll ever ride again, honestly. Horses are such powerfully strong animals. I just don't ever want to feel that again. I'm really glad I was able to hold on. I think I will see a chiropractor soon.

I was born with a dislocated hip and had to wear a leg/hip brace from ankle to waist when I was an infant for my first year. The brace kept my legs in a frog position and seeing me restricted like that made my mother very sad. lol The guide we were with was a surgical nurse and she said maybe that had something to do with the pain I felt (she asked me about my skeletal history), but I don't think so.

That's my scary bucking horse story! lol Thanks for asking. I'm very grateful I can still move around and didn't fall off. I take Aleve or Tylenol before I go to sleep and it helps alot. (I can't really handle any pain meds too well.) I'm more of an all-natural-type human. I've never been to a chiropractor & am I little hesitant to go. I know one thing, I do not want to be braced or I will have serious depression issues I think. (there, brought it back around to this thread. lol)

Your assessment of ms seems spot on. Will be watchful for a mood and stay away. only human though

It does seem to me like some people have to wrestle everything to the ground here and kill it sometimes. what is up with that?

[Micko]

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

^ I am glad to hear a diagnosis of schizophrenia wasn't made - that label can haunt a person in terms of lost opportunities in life. First Episodes of Psychosis are treated much much better compared to before and the hope is it doesn't become a full blown enduring psychotic illness. Roughly 1 in 3 people who are diagnosed with schizophrenia make a decent recovery and can go on to live fulfilling lives. The key (as far as I'm concerned) is support and a willingness to talk about symptoms as well as compliance with medication. The medical model certainly prevails in the area of mental health but slowly, very slowly this is evolving. Another crucial point is to support people not to internalise stigmatising statements and this one reason I have so much love for psychotherapy. So many people "give up" in their willingness to embrace life when they receive a "label" such as schizophrenia - this has been coined the "why try" effect and is very powerful.

[KiwiTollway]

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

@Micko, so true, everything you said I really agree with. My cousin's son started experiencing symptoms of psychosis when he left home to go to college and his doctors mentioned schizophrenia, the onset of which is usually during a crucial time in someone's life when they're surprisingly young. (I never knew anything about it until he was hospitalized.) I hear he's doing fine now though, they have reduced his stress and he's living at home while going to college now. I don't think he was diagnosed with it. It is surprising also, how little science knows about developing brains & mental illnesses considering this is 2014. I think they'll find what is considered mental illness these days is actually many times symptoms brought on by stress or trauma. That's cool they have renamed it in Japan to help people cope. Thanks for the insight, again. Interesting!!

[DIDI]

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

This is one area I am very passionate about, not just depression but the whole area of mental health. I have been working in the area for nearly 12 years and have certainly learned along the way. One of the most damaging aspects is certainly labelling. It boxes people into an incredibly tight narrow view of humanity (which is flawed to begin with) and not really seeing people as they are - those who have a life story, dreams, loved ones etc. as well as possessing a constellation of symptoms (in the case of schizophrenia for example). It is much better to treat the symptom than to label someone.

Labelling someone such as "mad" or a "schizo" generates all sorts of negative connotations (in large part due to negative and sensationalist media reporting in TV/paper/film etc). That coupled with gender socialisation means (and research suggests this) that men are less likely to approach mental health services for fear of being stigmatised. For example the name schizophrenia was changed in Japan in 2006 to a more medically orientated name having the impact that more people engaged with services - the reason being people did not fear the new name as much and did not internalise self-stigmatised statements such as "I'm worthless", "Sure who would employ me", "People will think I'm violent" etc..

Also, for what it's worth regarding a discussion of depression, the psychology of shame has proved to be hugely important in understanding the phenomenon of depression. Often the key to understanding the root of depression is to understand the root of shame in a person's life

Fascinating thread and so bloody important that we as a society try to empathise with our brethren for we are all capable of suffering mental ill-health

Thank you

[floridaorange]

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

Glad Kiwi is ok too, that horse incident sounds like a close call. I say "sounds" because I hear a voice in my head when I'm reading, and the voice has a tone. When exactly were you bucked? Have you seen a doctor?

MS can seem great and fun if you login while in a lighthearted mood. MS can seem cold and dark if not, this is from my experience.

[Micko]

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

This is one area I am very passionate about, not just depression but the whole area of mental health. I have been working in the area for nearly 12 years and have certainly learned along the way. One of the most damaging aspects is certainly labelling. It boxes people into an incredibly tight narrow view of humanity (which is flawed to begin with) and not really seeing people as they are - those who have a life story, dreams, loved ones etc. as well as possessing a constellation of symptoms (in the case of schizophrenia for example). It is much better to treat the symptom than to label someone.

Labelling someone such as "mad" or a "schizo" generates all sorts of negative connotations (in large part due to negative and sensationalist media reporting in TV/paper/film etc). That coupled with gender socialisation means (and research suggests this) that men are less likely to approach mental health services for fear of being stigmatised. For example the name schizophrenia was changed in Japan in 2006 to a more medically orientated name having the impact that more people engaged with services - the reason being people did not fear the new name as much and did not internalise self-stigmatised statements such as "I'm worthless", "Sure who would employ me", "People will think I'm violent" etc..

Also, for what it's worth regarding a discussion of depression, the psychology of shame has proved to be hugely important in understanding the phenomenon of depression. Often the key to understanding the root of depression is to understand the root of shame in a person's life

Fascinating thread and so bloody important that we as a society try to empathise with our brethren for we are all capable of suffering mental ill-health

[KiwiTollway]

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

^thoughtful response. it really is all good and I, for one, appreciate the threads you start even when I find the title abhorrent.

so far, my day has been great! expensive, but great. $380 at the eye doctor for exam & contacts for my child is a bit much, but they gave me a $70 coupon rebate & referral to a good chiropractor for me. Parents lead hectic lives.

same to you FL, thanks

@Micko, that must be a hard job. Kudos to you & thanks for the insight and bringing up the important point about stigma. I love that movie Silver Linings Playbook made an honest attempt at diluting the stigma & Bradley Cooper did a great job on his role. (Movies are never really realistic though, thankfully so, but I appreciated the screenwriter's attempt.)

[floridaorange]

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

Recently, I was bucked very, very hard while on a large horse. I managed to stay on because I'm strong & I believe another force helped me. Now, I am hurting pretty much every time I move. I could say "I'm depressed" because I'm hurting and feeling down by the ache. But I'm happy that though the wind was knocked out of me & I was nauseous the rest of the day, I felt pain like nothing before, everything works out for me, I can move my spine just fine, and there is nothing to feel sad about. What I'm experiencing is sadness to due pain & sadness I mostly likely won't ever again do something I used to really enjoy because I saw my life flash in front of me and for a moment I thought it was over. Or, I could be feeling sad for other reasons (thought related). I know this sadness will end because ultimately I'm a happy person all around. You can be a happy, emotionally & physically (bodily) healthy individual and still suffer bouts of depression that have nothing to do with people around you, your thoughts, your surroundings, concentrating on others, helping others, etc. You could even be very, very successful in every area of your life and still deal with clinical depression. It has nothing to do with coping mechanisms (those help with sadness & confusion), if you're depressed you can try the medical community who, like someone else said, it's hit or miss with medication and sometimes that makes things all around worse for you.

Depression is misunderstood, like I said, not to argue with anyone. Sometimes it's ok to say "Hey, can we chat? The sound of your voice would really help me feel better today." and that is not co-dependent, bipolar, depression; it's normal, healthy living, and asking for what you want. Try it or not. You learn who you can count on, who really loves you, and who you can't because they really don't. It happens when you need them the most.

That's certainly true, you can be all of those things. People can also be not very aware of themselves, their thoughts and what may be taking place in their subconscious based on the conditioning they experienced during childhood. Sort of like the tapes they play in their brains running the show.

It takes all kinds, the experience of life is different for everyone. I am grateful that I am not depressed anymore and wish others the same. Micko however would be the specialist on this topic > the rest of us .

I'll mention one other thing I learned rather recently, past couple years. And that was to stop giving a fuck if people liked me or not. In my business its very easy to develop a people pleaser attitude, that shit is not good.

Another thing that helped, beyond self-love, is self-grace. Allowing myself to feel the spectrum of emotions that is life. Not pushing away negative thoughts so much as embracing them as part of the human experience. Along with happiness, sadness, anger, rage, all of it. It's all good. It makes us humans. If we were always just "happy" that's fake nonsense. But a lot of people like to "stay even-keeled" or "consistently" one way. That shit kinda sucks as well... those patters of behavior become our identities if we stick with them for a long long time. But people can change, if they want to. And then some people have low blood sugar and they feel depressed because of that. There are so many reasons why someone might be feeling depressed. I just think people are capable of change.
Have a nice day

[Micko]

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

I work in the area of mental health - mainly with people who have enduring mental health conditions (predominantly schizophrenia and to a lesser degree schizo-affective disorder). Major Depressive Disorder is probably what is being discussed here in the sense it is a chronic condition which can cause much suffering. From my experience psychotherapy can prove to be a very useful intervention working with depression, in particular reactive depression (which can be an understandable depressive reaction to a life event such as losing a job, a loved one etc..)

Didi you are right, there is still a lot to learn about these processes. The damage of stigma also needs to appreciated if we talk about mental ill-health.

[sbando]

Re: The reality of depression - Decoded Magazine

I was talking about depression.
You're talking about bipolar...

What's the difference?

Bipolar disorder, also known as bipolar affective disorder, manic-depressive illness, or affective psychosis

What I really meant: do not play with someone who's depressed, by saying random stuff and without acknowledging his illness.You can make serious damage. If you care about that person, help him/her find a good doctor.