A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

[GAVIN.MCAVOY]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

An R.A.F. fighter pilot was flying over afghanistan when he noticed a flying carpet on each side of his plane both with a machine-gunner on board.
Sensing danger he shot them both down immediately.
Back at base he got a right bollocking for his actions.
Apparently they were Allied Carpets

[GAVIN.MCAVOY]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

felt a bit depressed last night so i phoned the lifeline number.i got thru to a call centre in afghanistan and told them i was feeling suicidal
fuckers got all excited and asked if i could drive a truck

[Dhar_2]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

^ classic!

[DIDI]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

felt a bit depressed last night so i phoned the lifeline number.i got thru to a call centre in afghanistan and told them i was feeling suicidal
fuckers got all excited and asked if i could drive a truck

[bobjuice]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Two snowmen standing in a field

One turns to the other and says "fuck me, can you smell carrots?!"

[bobjuice]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

An egg and a sausage are in a frying pan
egg says to the sausage "hot in here innit?"
the sausage says "fuckin hell, a talking egg!"

[bobjuice]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Who was the safest stuntman ever?

Evel K-nareful



i'll stop now sorry

[i!!ustrious]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden."You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK..., you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..."Next morning the little man wakes the woman up."Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies"Fuck me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"

[i!!ustrious]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

There are four kinds of sex :HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.HALL SEX - After you've been married for ma...ny, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.

[i!!ustrious]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wak...es up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

[i!!ustrious]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your m...ind?"The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

[floridaorange]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

[i!!ustrious]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

How are women and tornadoes alike? They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

[i!!ustrious]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man e...nough to make me feel like a woman?"A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"

[i!!ustrious]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

cheap mexican pregnancy test...insert burrito in vagina and remove after 30 sec. if it's half eaten there's a little beaner in there