Help!!!!!!!!

[pipey]

so my gf of nearly 5 years says to me that she still loves me, but that she needs to put her life in perspective so shes going to move out of our house.

I am gutted MS - what should i do! Im hopeing that she will go and want to come back, but honestly, i dunno... shes still into me, so its nothing like shes found someone else, but its just that her life is pissing her off at the moment.

the problem is, all the things shes complaining about are thngs shes could so easily solve - but she wont listen to me!

[i!!ustrious]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

stay detached wit luvz. keep in touch casually, but ultimately. comfort her with cockballs and interesting. keep on keepin on matey! halp meh!

[Micko]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

Give her a bit of space to let her digest stuff, then see how things pan out

Sounds like she needs to evaluate shit

[DIDI]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

Let her go !! If she feels free she far more likely to want to come back !!. But if you keep trying to make her stay you could lose her completely.

Good Luck !!!

[Dhar_2]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

sorry to hear about this mate!

lets hope its just a period.

I know to you it may all her issues seem simple to solve. but for her it may well be the old adagie of not being able to see the forest for the trees. hopefully all she needs is some space to sort things out for herself in her own time. When u live together it can all get a bit clostrophobic. be there for her, but not too invasive. and ultimately u need to let things run their own course in their own time. dont force things.

i hope it works out for you guys. if u need a hand you know where we are.

take care

[DIDI]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

^^ Really good advice!! Now what have you done with our Dhar 2

[pipey]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

WOW! thanks ms, you guys rule - ultimately i agree with you all - the thing is, i dont feel like shes left the relationship which is awesome - that gives me hope shes a cool chick and i trust her completely - thats why we have been together for so long!

Ill let you know how it pans out no doubt :S

[diegoff]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

but she wont listen to me!

keep that off your mind... Nobody wants someone telling you what to do.. she has her time and speed to think and solve out (or not) problems...

[Kamal]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

but she wont listen to me!

she's a woman.

Let her go !! If she feels free she far more likely to want to come back !!. But if you keep trying to make her stay you could lose her completely.

this right here. you don't know how secure chicks feel in knowing they always have that one place they can go back to and still be wanted + secure even if they have the whole world to run away and disappear into.

[Funky Dredd]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

sorry to hear about this mate!

lets hope its just a period.

I know to you it may all her issues seem simple to solve. but for her it may well be the old adagie of not being able to see the forest for the trees. hopefully all she needs is some space to sort things out for herself in her own time. When u live together it can all get a bit clostrophobic. be there for her, but not too invasive. and ultimately u need to let things run their own course in their own time. dont force things.

i hope it works out for you guys. if u need a hand you know where we are.

take care

I couldn't have said it better.

Now what did you do with Dhar_2?

[Dhar_2]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

he's on holiday!

i'm his nice twin!

[bobjuice]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

Yeah he said something about going to cuba??
good to have you around - hopefully you're not as fuckin weird as your brother

[floridaorange]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

Living together before marriage can be uniquely difficult, living together after marriage of course is no picnic either...

Do you and her have a game plan as to when you might get engaged? It could very well be that she is scared that you seem too comfortable with the idea of casually living together and receiving all the benefits of living together without the ultimate commitment.

My advice is to show her your vision for the two of you (at the appropriate time). Perhaps give her until next week, and then suprise her with dinner reservations, then let her know how much her moving out has made your re-evaluate your relationship and then tell her where you hope to see it go.
That is of course, if you are ready to discuss your future with her.

Keep us posted.

[nick007]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

Pipey, good for you to realize that she has just left your house and not you

just chill, enjoy your newfound freedom hire, all the dvds you havnt been allowed to watch, leave your clothes lying all over the floor, fill the kitchen with unwashed dishes, drink milk out the carton.

When you are with her just relax don't bug her with questions of whats going on - she will tell you when she is ready.

Good luck dude!

[Miroslav]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

It could very well be that she is scared that you seem too comfortable with the idea of casually living together and receiving all the benefits of living together without the ultimate commitment.

^^ THIS.

I agree that at this point you have to not stand in her way too much and let her come to some things on her own... but this tends to make a big difference very many long-term relationships.