taking some time out

[thebanned1]

Re: taking some time out

i,ve been out walking round my town the past couple of days and twice i,ve been approached my the same young lass, first time she asked me to go into the shop for her, i refused because it was probably to get her either drink or cigarettes, yesterday i was walking along the same street and the same girl asked me if i had a lighter, it reminded me of when i was young and we used to ask adults to go into the shops for us to get either drink or "fags" ( as we call them in scotland ), it's depressing as fuck, seriously, history repeating itself, they kids are out on the street with nothing to do and no where to go and you just know it's going to be a life time of exposure to drugs dealers and alcohol, it's like no one has learned from the mistakes of our generation and hasn't put anything in place to try to teach these people about what could potentially happen and look at what they are spending trying to fix the health problems in us in later life, i think i found a blood clot and had to go to the doctors about it and i now have to go for a scan or something and this was probably due to the drugs i was taking, it wasn't until i was in a mental ward for the second time that i found out the drugs i was taking could do this to your body, i was in my 30's by then, it was far far too late by then, we were never told anything about what drugs could do to our system when we were younger so we never even considered the dangers when we were taking them, they should of taught us this in school years ago and been brutally graphic about it

[thebanned1]

Re: taking some time out

What part was confusing for you bro? Do they have farmers markets where you live?

not sure, there is a big market in a town 30 minutes or so away and not sure if they sell food or just animals, there is a little shop in the street that does fruit and veg but it's limited in what it sells and even the supermarkets have cut down on the amount of stuff they stock probably because there was a lot of waste, i guess they only sell stuff that is selling, that is probably why everyone's diet is poor because the cost of living in quite high and people just can't afford to buy the stuff that is good and they are buying cheap food, things like fish is just extortionate, £3:50 for a small piece of fish people just can't afford it even though the health service in this country recommends it twice a week, by the time you buy a piece of fish, cook it and all the rest of the veg and other stuff you need it is just to much cost, if you have a family of 3 or four then you're looking at a huge cost to feed you're family everything they need for a balanced diet each week and even if you do have the money to buy it all things are sold in such big quantities now that by the time you get through it or some of the way through it you either have to throw it away or it's old and lacking it's nutritional content, the cost of bring up a kid in this country is huge and those kids are beginning their lives either nutritionally deficient from day one or eating junk food and becoming obese at a young age because their parent just can't afford to feed them the right diet,, i don't know how to describe it but it must be hurting the health service in this country hard and our health service is paid by taxes and free for all british citizens but it's fighting a losing battle from day one for the reasons i,ve just described, things like anti depressants are being prescribed more than they ever were and this if everyone could afford to eat healthily then people would be much happier and not need things like this, in a book i was reading ( one of only a few i,ve read in my life lol ) there was a part where it said that mental health problems including schizophrenia can be attributed to diet, that's quite scary and quite serious, god knows what other diseases and other problems poor diet is causing, the drugs that they treat these with are not only really expensive but they are hopeless, the things the medication i was on has done to my body is frightening, made me slow, have to sit and think hard before i type words ( can't even think of the right words to say no more ), can't even spell and have to read things over and over before i take them in and even struggle to take them in at that, increased my appetite so i was constantly binge eating and gorging on food all the time my body wasn't even digesting it right and it was sitting in my digestive system for a long time and causing problems with my livers ability to detox my body and caused me lots of skin problems, that just caused depression, i would of killed myself a long time ago if i didn't have music to keep me going or i didn't think about what it would of done to my family, places like this basically kept me going for a long time and at the same time were probably killing me at the same time, if i had access to a gun or something i would of done it years ago and i,ll be honest i,ve probably already killed myself through substance abuse due to this, the whole mental health system is just so wrong imo, it causes more damage than good ( not sure if i,ve already mentioned that or not in here already ) i don't really want to explain why on the forum but i,m thinking about what i,m going to say to my doctor about this when i see him in a couple of days, when i came of my meds not so long ago i was a complete mess, confusion and couldn't sleep for days, some time i think the side effects are deliberate because the people that are in it are in the business of making money and how do you create more money ? you sell a defective product that creates more business, that stuff was just nasty, i,m probably a couple of operations, anti depressants and viagra ( if i ever get a girlfriend, highly unlikely at 40 ) and that is just some of the things i can think of off hand i don't know a lot about it, there is no way back now, it's completely ruining people's lives

[floridaorange]

Re: taking some time out

wtf ?

What part was confusing for you bro? Do they have farmers markets where you live?

[thebanned1]

Re: taking some time out

meat is all shit, chewy as fuck, veins in it, it's just too expensive to go to a decent butcher so people are buying stuff as cheaply as they can and it's rubbish, peaches in packs of 5 or 6 that turn rotten in 2 or 3 days, fresh apples that are rotten by the time you get them, all the vitamin content in the stuff you buy is gone by the time it reaches your stomach, you don't even know what is in the chemical they spray on the food or the stuff that is in your water, can't even get decent water in scotland, it's causing all sorts of cancers and loads of other health problems, do these poeple even know what happens when certain chemicals are mixed ? god knows what that is doing to people's insides, eating pie's n stuff that are more pastry than meat content and the meat is so drenched in gravy ( god knows whats in that ) and the meat is so poor quality that there it's not even worth eating, i know nothing about diet at all, i,ve only read one or 2 books on it and even with that kind of knowledge i,m seeing problems, a decent meal for one just cost too much to cook, two or 3 pots on the cooker and something in the oven, not to mention how much decent food costs these days itself, things like fish is just too expensive for most people, even looking at what the NHS diet tree ( i think it is called that ) is impossible because there is so many different things you need to buy to have a balanced diet not only costs too much but by the time you get through even half of it you have to throw the rest away because it's all stale or rotten, no one can afford to live healthily these days and businesses are concentrating on making profit more than worrying about people's health, it's killing people hard

[thebanned1]

Re: taking some time out

The skin on your scalp becomes more sensitive with age, try to use luke warm or cool water on your head in the shower when shampooing. Warm / hot water will cause dandruff. Also a cap size amount of apple cider vinegar will stop dandruff better than that shampoo your are using.

wtf ? seems like everything i,m touching or eating is screwing me up right now, i don't know what the hell is going on, eating apples and stuff and the next thing that happens is my ears start ringing, i just bought it fresh from the shop as well, eating grapes and my ears start ringing as well, howling farts after eating cheese, i,ve been eating that stuff for years and never had that before, showering everyday and still can't my skin clear, feet all bent, bones all cracking, probably killing myself hard... i,ve just spent all day in the kitchen looking for something to eat and just about everything in the dam place will kill me in some way, full of wheat which you can't really digest properly, stuff from the freezer that is too much but if you take only a small portion the rest is fucked by the time you get back to it so you end up having to throw it away, most people just eat the whole lot instead of throwing it out, this place is death, i said earlier drugs were fucking up the health system but things like this are probably driving people to drugs and drink more than anything, it's a death trap, people are eating more junk food because it's cheaper than buying stuff fresh from the shop and cooking it at home, my body is fucked at 40 and probably no way back, everything in this country that is good for you is just too expensive, i,ve only ever seen one or 2 organic products on the shelf in my whole life and they were really expensive, you can't afford to buy them on a budget and it's screwing everyone left right and center, it's killing people all over the country

[floridaorange]

Re: taking some time out

The skin on your scalp becomes more sensitive with age, try to use luke warm or cool water on your head in the shower when shampooing. Warm / hot water will cause dandruff. Also a cap size amount of apple cider vinegar will stop dandruff better than that shampoo your are using.

You used to sell illegal software at a market? that's unique!

[thebanned1]

Re: taking some time out

last night i heard a sound like the door being locked after hearing as if someone was moving about the house, i checked and saw no one, i was home myself, i know i,ve said this before but it would of been easy for someone to have a key to my house as the doors fitting needed a key that has to be cut by a special tool and you need a card to cut a new key, scared to leave the house just now in case my house gets broke into or something, i know that sounds like paranoia, been feeling funny after eating food and something and even though i,ve been using anti dandruff shampoo my head is flaking like hell more than it usually is, i know i,ve said this before but i remember years ago in the 90's i worked in a market stall selling warez/cracked software ( cracked by paradox, it was even the same logo when i used to download warez myself years later ) and there was an ex commando or someone military who was a cat burglar and it's suddenly struck me how easy it would of been for someone to have broke into this house and changed all the stuff around the place, that's probably why my computers broke as you could change the bios without even switching the computer on, even without a key people like that know exactly house to get in and out of a house un noticed, could of been murdered or anything lol

[thebanned1]

Re: taking some time out

I don't know your history with drugs and alcohol but if you are prone to having mental health issues, taking street drugs is a big gamble. In some cases, light use can be good, I think we all know that, but if you over use, that's when things can go south real fast. Assuming you did not use moderately, you may be dealing with the mental repercussions now, later in life, as you get older, and that's not unheard of. My hope is that through medication, diet and exercise you learn to take care of yourself, because the 5 yr old Dom deep down inside you deserves it, even if the adult Dom doesn't think so. Try to get well man, you're a good person with a good heart and deserve it.

street drugs in this country are just nasty, it's not even the real thing in some cases, it's probably why so many people turned to legal highs, including myself, i,ve took those quite a lot in the past years since they became popular, like i said when i was first diagnosed i just went on self destruction, the only thing i could do was alcohol and i really really hate it so it kind of drove me back to drugs, being high was the only thing that blocked the thoughts and pain ( i know that sounds weird ), when you've been through the mental health system it just messes with you for life, the techniques they use are around you in your everyday life in everything you see and hear, my answer was to just sit at my computer in my room all day and listen to music alone all day, i even struggle to have conversations with people i,ve known for years due to this, you're constantly questioning yourself all the time, it's hard to explain, it just messes with your head more and does more damage than good, it's really hard to look people in the eye sometimes, it breaks you hard, you're constantly looking for it in everything you see and hear, it's basically torture from day one and you are stuck with it for life, you just don't want to step out into the real world, it's a death trap, the drugs are even worse, what they do to your body is just frightening, i was above 200 pounds at one point ( 17 stone ), it has probably damaged my organs all over my body for life, the weight i,ve lost in the past couple of weeks is frightening and probably dangerous

[floridaorange]

Re: taking some time out

I don't know your history with drugs and alcohol but if you are prone to having mental health issues, taking street drugs is a big gamble. In some cases, light use can be good, I think we all know that, but if you over use, that's when things can go south real fast. Assuming you did not use moderately, you may be dealing with the mental repercussions now, later in life, as you get older, and that's not unheard of. My hope is that through medication, diet and exercise you learn to take care of yourself, because the 5 yr old Dom deep down inside you deserves it, even if the adult Dom doesn't think so. Try to get well man, you're a good person with a good heart and deserve it.

[sbando]

Re: taking some time out

A brotherly hug, Dom.

[Micko]

Re: taking some time out

There is so much good will here, it is heartening to read

I will PM rather than post here in the main forum

[thebanned1]

Re: taking some time out

i,m lying in my bed and hearing a sequence of tapping noises that sound like words, hearing words hidden in other sounds, hearing sounds that sound like drips coming from my mouth, everywhere i listen to music is screwing my hearing up fast, no where to listen to music at all, getting pains in my nuts like someone is hitting them with something, my muscles are twitching all over my body, getting strange feelings on my head, cramps in my hand, it's freaking the shit out of me, i,m home alone right now and i,m hearing floorboards upstairs creak like someone is walking about and hearing other sounds around the house that are making me think someone is in the house, keep hearing someone saying "little bastard" like someone is crying when they are saying it and also hearing the same words in other tones like someone is angry

[thebanned1]

Re: taking some time out

the same thing as last time is happening, hearing the words "special bastard" and getting crunchy sounds in my ears again same as last time, it seems like it's only happening when i,m eating fruit or drinking water, every time i listen to my ipod or sit at this computer i,m getting ringing in my ears, same thing happened last time i was sent daft, i,m no expert on mental health but maybe micko could tell me if there is consistency in patients episodes or is it a different story every time ?

[thebanned1]

Re: taking some time out

Sorry to hear things are so difficult at present - I have just sent you a PM

sent a reply, had to break it up into 2 pm's because i exceeded the limit

[Micko]

Re: taking some time out

Sorry to hear things are so difficult at present - I have just sent you a PM